Ruth Chan is an artist residing in Brooklyn with her spouse, child, and dog. She both writes and illustrates children’s literature. For Cup of Jo, Ruth has also explored themes such as travel, pets, loss, OCD, pregnancy, and her beloved band. Here’s her beauty routine!
P.S. On forming connections with strangers and the impact of kindness.
**Insights and Thoughts I’d Share with My Younger Self**
Throughout our lives, we gather experiences, wisdom, and lessons that frequently alter our views. In retrospect, many of us wish to have a conversation with our younger selves, providing some advice—gentle prompts that might have eased our journey or lightened our loads. While time travel remains a dream, contemplating what we would tell our younger selves can serve as a meaningful exercise in self-reflection and development. Here are some sincere nuggets of advice and thoughts I would impart to my younger self.
**1. Embrace Your Flaws**
Dear younger me, perfection is merely an illusion. You will waste too much energy trying to meet unrealistic expectations, fearing failure, and steering clear of risks. Release the need to be perfect. Mistakes aren’t indicators of weakness—they are essential for growth. Each misstep offers a chance to learn something important. Accepting your flaws makes you relatable and human.
**2. Don’t Hesitate to Decline**
You will often feel the urge to please others, agreeing to things even when your heart wants to say “no.” Remember, your time and energy are valuable. Setting boundaries is essential, not selfish. Saying “no” when something conflicts with your values or well-being is a mark of self-respect. Believe that the right individuals will appreciate your candidness.
**3. Cultivate Meaningful Relationships**
Friendships and connections will fluctuate, but the ones that truly matter are rooted in mutual love, trust, and respect. Avoid chasing individuals who don’t appreciate you. Instead, nurture relationships that uplift you. Be engaged, listen intently, and express gratitude. Connections are vital to a fulfilling life.
**4. Prioritize Your Mental and Physical Well-being**
You will usually put work, deadlines, and duties ahead of your health. However, your mind and body lay the groundwork for everything else you do. Allocate time for rest, movement, and mindfulness. Seek support when necessary—vulnerability is a sign of strength. Mental health holds equal importance to physical health, and both merit your focus.
**5. Pursue Your Interests, Not Just the Norm**
It’s tempting to stick to paths that seem secure or expected. Yet, your passions and curiosities deserve exploration, even if they deviate from the norm. Don’t shy away from less-traveled roads. The most satisfying adventures often start with a flicker of curiosity. Trust your instincts and chase what ignites your spirit.
**6. You Are Valuable, Just as You Are**
There will be moments you question your worth, make comparisons, or feel inadequate. But remember this: you are sufficient. You owe no one proof of your value. Your individuality is your power. Treat yourself kindly, engage in self-compassion, and celebrate your journey—imperfections included.
**7. Time Is Precious—Utilize It Wisely**
Time will fly faster than you anticipate. Don’t postpone enjoying life waiting for the “perfect” moment. Take that trip, pen that book, reach out to that friend. Live in the present, for it’s all we genuinely possess. Create memories, not merely plans.
**8. Learn the Art of Letting Go**
Not everything is intended to endure. People will evolve, opportunities will arise and fade, and sometimes outcomes won’t be what you envisioned. Letting go can be challenging but freeing. Clinging to what doesn’t benefit you only holds you back. Trust that each ending paves the way for a new beginning.
**9. Acknowledge Small Achievements**
You will often wait for significant milestones to feel pride in yourself. However, life is woven from minor triumphs—finishing a task, overcoming a fear, showing kindness. Cherish those instances. They are the threads that create a purposeful and joyful life.
**10. Maintain Your Self-Belief**
Challenges, setbacks, and uncertainties will arise. Yet, amidst it all, continue to have faith in your ability to evolve, adapt, and conquer. You are far more resilient than you realize. The future might be unclear, but your inner strength will guide you through.
**Concluding Thoughts**
Although I cannot return and share these insights with my younger self, I can carry them into my current life. By sharing them, perhaps another individual—standing at the intersection of youth and maturity—might discover guidance for their path. Ultimately, the wisdom we acquire is not solely for ourselves but for those who tread the path after us.
