Every few years, one of my children gets a bit teary-eyed about school. “The days feel sooooo long,” they’ll sigh. “Why can’t I just stay home in the morning?” they might inquire. Or, “When do we start the holiday break?”
During these moments, I appreciate reverting to the wisdom that Jenny Rosenstrach shared a decade ago. When her daughter faced social challenges in middle school, Jenny reached out to her own mother and relayed the conversation:
She reminded me of what I already understood: I’d have to let this one pass, along with the next and the one after that, too. It was the moment to allow the kids to navigate these situations independently. Yet, in a passionate tone that I suspect she reserves for her most difficult clients (she’s a real estate lawyer), mom did provide me with a practical suggestion to assist: “You just ensure that when those girls walk through that door each day,” she instructed, “they never question that home is the most comforting place for them. That is what you can do.”
The most comforting place for them to be. And home often inherently is just that. But here are a few additional things we’ve tried during challenging times…
Greet them after school with a cookie.
Take a leisurely walk in the neighborhood and wave to familiar faces.
Or literally take a moment to smell the flowers.
Imitate each other. This one’s ALWAYS a favorite. (Here, Anton is pretending to be me: “I’m stressed from work! Check out these hilarious Instagrams, sweetie! Why doesn’t anyone put their shoes away? This wine is organic. Kamala Harris!”)
Toss a ball against a wall (any ball, any wall).
Invite the neighborhood “aunties” over.
Enjoy a favorite episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Engage in a game (perhaps Guess Who or Tenzi).
And don’t forget the clever idea from a reader named Beth: “When my kids have a rough day, we whip up nachos for dinner since today was ‘Nacho Day’… get it? There’s something about discussing your bad day over cheesy, salty goodness that helps shift the mood.”
What would you suggest? Reading on the sofa? Enjoying the Mamma Mia soundtrack? Staying for extra cuddles at bedtime? xoxo
P.S. Ways to help a reserved child express feelings, and the four stages of parenting.
**Establishing a Tranquil and Inviting Home: A Handbook | Cup of Jo**
In the hustle and bustle of today’s world, our homes become refuges where we can relax, recharge, and find peace. A tranquil and inviting home is not merely about visual appeal; it’s about crafting an ambiance that fosters well-being and instills a sense of calm. Whether you reside in a large house or a compact apartment, you can elevate your environment into a sanctuary that embodies warmth, comfort, and serenity. Here’s a guide to assist you in cultivating a tranquil and inviting home that you’ll cherish returning to.
### 1. **Declutter and Streamline**
One of the preliminary steps to establishing a peaceful home is to declutter. A disorganized environment can lead to a muddled mind, making it more challenging to relax. Begin by assessing each room and removing items that no longer fulfill a function or bring you happiness. Donate or recycle things that are unnecessary and organize the remainder in a manner that is both practical and visually appealing.
**Tip**: Employ the “one in, one out” principle—anytime you add something new to your space, consider letting go of something else to keep things balanced.
### 2. **Welcome Soft Textures**
Comfortable homes thrive on texture. Integrate soft, tactile features such as plush throw blankets, fluffy cushions, and warm rugs to create an inviting atmosphere. Layering a variety of textures like wool, cotton, and faux fur enhances depth and warmth in any area.
**Tip**: Consider investing in high-quality textiles for your bed and sofa, as comfort is paramount in these spaces. Choose natural materials like linen or organic cotton for a breathable and luxurious experience.
### 3. **Select a Calming Color Scheme**
The colors you choose for your living space can influence your mood significantly. Gentle, neutral shades like beige, cream, and soft gray foster a peaceful environment, while muted pastels like blush pink, sage green, and sky blue can introduce warmth without overwhelming the senses.
**Tip**: If you prefer vibrant colors, think about using them as accents rather than the main feature. A deep navy throw pillow or a mustard-yellow vase can inject personality without disrupting the soothing ambiance.
### 4. **Include Natural Elements**
Incorporating nature within your home is a simple yet powerful way to cultivate a calming vibe. Houseplants not only clean the air but also instill a sense of life and tranquility in your surroundings. Wooden furnishings, stone highlights, and woven baskets can also present natural textures that anchor the room.
**Tip**: For those new to plant care, start with easy-to-manage varieties such as snake plants, pothos, or succulents. These types are resilient and adapt well to various lighting conditions.
### 5. **Designate Cozy Areas**
Identify a specific nook or corner within your home where you can relax and de-stress. Whether it’s a reading chair by the window, a meditation spot with soft cushions, or a snug corner on the couch, having a designated relaxation area can help you mentally and physically disconnect from daily pressures.
**Tip**: Personalize your cozy corner with elements like a cherished blanket, a stack of books, or a candle with a calming scent. Make it a space that feels distinctly yours.
### 6. **Lighting is Key**
Lighting significantly influences the ambiance of your home. Bright, overhead lights can seem harsh and sterile, while soft, ambient lighting establishes a warm and inviting environment. Utilize a mix of floor lamps, table lamps, and string lights to create layered lighting that can be adapted to the time of day or your mood.
**Tip**: Use warm, soft white light bulbs (around 2700K) to create a cozy atmosphere. Think about adding dimmer switches to regulate brightness and create a more intimate setting in the evenings.
### 7. **Incorporate Personal Touches**
A peaceful home should be a reflection of your character and the things that bring you happiness. Showcase meaningful artwork, family photos, or souvenirs from your travels. These personal elements make your space feel homely and remind you of joyful experiences.
**Tip**: Refrain from crowding your walls or shelves with too many items. Instead, curate a few significant pieces that ignite joy and rotate them periodically to keep your space feeling fresh.
### 8. **Utilize Calming Scents**
Our sense of smell is intricately linked to our emotions, and certain fragrances can cultivate a soothing ambiance. Essential oils such as lavender, eucalyptus, and chamomile are renowned for their relaxing properties. You can employ a diffuser, scented candles, or incense to fill your home with calming aromas.
**Tip**: Be cautious of synthetic fragrances, as they can sometimes be overpowering or trigger headaches. Choose natural, quality candles or essential oils to create a more subtle and pleasant scent.
