This summer, I penned a Big Salad issue focusing on botox, yet the reader comment that resonated with me was actually centered on…
…teens.
“Here’s a piece of advice for adolescents that has truly stayed with me,” shared a reader named Kaff. “‘Never allow yourself to be more enthusiastic or more disheartened about situations than they are.’ Lisa Damour mentioned this in the context of college acceptance/rejection fluctuations, but I believe it applies universally — to sports, friendships, exams, crushes, bosses, etc. And during those what-should-I-do moments in parenting teenagers, I find it beneficial to remind myself to stay a few degrees below their emotional state.”
How insightful is that? A teen’s feelings are already unpredictable — soaring highs! plunging lows! — so they certainly don’t need anyone to amplify those emotions. Moreover, they shouldn’t bear any additional pressure to calm you down or energize you. Additionally, I appreciate the notion that, as a parent, you’re assisting your child in running a marathon by holding up a sign and providing hydration — not competing alongside them. They can experience sweat, run, stretch, stumble, fall, and process all the emotions, while we stand by to witness and support them — but not sweat in the same way.
Previously, I would occasionally inject high-energy enthusiasm into moments of teenage parenting, and it wasn’t always met with gratitude:
Gratitude, as always, to my teenagers for their understanding and guidance.
Insights? What recommendations do you have for raising teenagers? It’s no task for the timid!
P.S. More on parenting teens, including 10 things I appreciate about raising preteens/teens, and 21 entirely subjective rules for bringing up teenage girls and boys.
**Effective Communication Strategies for Engaging with Teenagers**
Connecting with teenagers can often prove to be difficult due to the plethora of changes they undergo during their adolescent years. Nevertheless, effective communication is fundamental for establishing strong relationships and guiding them through this crucial period of life. Here are several strategies to improve communication with teenagers:
1. **Active Listening:**
– Exhibit sincere interest in what your teenager is saying by actively listening. This entails maintaining eye contact, nodding, and responding appropriately to their thoughts and emotions. Refrain from interrupting or leaping to conclusions, as this can hinder communication.
2. **Empathy and Understanding:**
– Aim to grasp their viewpoint by considering things from their perspective. Acknowledge their emotions and validate their experiences, even if you disagree with them. This fosters trust and respect.
3. **Open-Ended Questions:**
– Stimulate conversation by posing open-ended questions that demand more than a simple yes or no reply. This encourages teenagers to articulate themselves fully and share their thoughts and feelings.
4. **Non-Judgmental Attitude:**
– Cultivate a safe environment for dialogue by adopting a non-judgmental stance. Avoid criticism or blame, as this can provoke defensiveness and obstruct communication. Instead, prioritize understanding and supporting them.
5. **Be Honest and Transparent:**
– Teenagers appreciate honesty and can often sense insincerity. Be forthright in your communication and acknowledge when you lack all the answers. This nurtures mutual respect and prompts them to be candid with you.
6. **Use Technology Wisely:**
– Utilize technology to communicate in ways that resonate with teenagers. Texting, social media, and other digital avenues can be effective means for staying connected. However, ensure these methods complement, rather than substitute, face-to-face interactions.
7. **Set Boundaries and Be Consistent:**
– Clearly express expectations and boundaries, and uphold them consistently. This grants teenagers a sense of security and assists them in understanding the repercussions of their actions.
8. **Be Patient and Persistent:**
– Communication with teenagers might not always flow smoothly. Exhibit patience and persistence, showing them that you are always open to dialogue. Over time, this consistency can encourage them to open up more.
9. **Encourage Independence:**
– Support their increasing desire for autonomy by involving them in decision-making processes. This empowers them and demonstrates your respect for their capacity to make choices.
10. **Model Positive Communication:**
– Exhibit effective communication skills in your interactions with others. Teenagers learn significantly by observing, so demonstrating respectful and open communication can have a substantial effect.
By implementing these strategies, you can cultivate a more open and effective line of communication with teenagers, aiding them in navigating the intricacies of adolescence with confidence and support.
