Hello lovely folks! How’s everyone doing? I’ve truly missed all of you so much. Over the past six months, I’ve been on mat leave cuddling with the newest addition to our family, Evelynn. After Emiliano was born, I penned four surprising things about bringing a second child home. So, I figured it would be enjoyable to now share five surprises I’ve encountered as a mom of three…
1. The spontaneous milestones are as delightful as the major ones. When my first daughter, Ella, came along, I was eagerly waiting for her to hit those early milestones like rolling over and sitting up solo. Now, as a mom of three, I still feel the thrill for those occasions. However, you know what also fills me with wonder? Witnessing their adorable startle reflex for the first time. One cherished newborn moment is seeing my babies wave their little arms like they’re catching air, as I gently place them on the changing table for a diaper change. I also adore listening to their grunty snorts while nursing. And once they master walking, I love hearing their steps pitter-patter down the hall. With every child, new small milestones appear that truly warm my heart.
My mat leave attire: oversized T-shirts, maternity leggings, and a baby attached to my boob 🙂
2. The drive to seem like I’ve got everything under control has dramatically decreased. As someone recovering from people-pleasing, asking for help has always been tough. With my first child, I was determined to handle everything alone. With my second, I began to accept help from family and friends when offered. But during my pregnancy with Evelynn, Max and I quickly realized we’d need all the assistance available. So, I reached out to my mom with a list of the chores piling up before going into labor—like washing our bedroom sheets and scrubbing the toilets (!). Part of me was apprehensive about asking my mom for such personal chores (again, the toilets!). But then I imagined returning home two days postpartum to a chaotic house, with a newborn, toddler, and four-year-old all demanding attention. The anxiety outweighed the embarrassment of enlisting my mom’s help in cleaning. Plus, I remembered how my mom loves me and has always been supportive. Upon returning from the hospital, my mom and grandma had tackled it all—and coming home to freshly laundered sheets was pure BLISS. Women are always reliable when it comes to getting things done.
Shoutout to my aunt Annette, a true angel who constantly helps with my kids!
3. The urge to support other moms has significantly increased. A month ago, I texted a new friend who has both a toddler and a five-year-old. She mentioned feeling unwell, and I instantly offered to bring over some soup for dinner. I’m not sharing to boast, but to express that I instantly felt a need to assist, knowing how bone-achingly tough it is being sick with two young ones. Over my five years as a mom, so many other mothers have supported me—whether by putting away a load of clean dishes or taking one of my kids to the restroom at a restaurant so I can finish my meal. Paying these good deeds forward seems a simple way to honor all the women who have helped me.
4. With each additional child, the clarity on how you desire to spend your time becomes sharper. Managing three kids under five leaves me with about 30 minutes of personal time daily. I’ve discovered how much I enjoy working outside in our veggie garden, or lying in bed reading humorous novels (I breezed through this one). It’s fulfilling to know precisely what brings me energy and joy during this bustling season.
5. Noticing the similarities between all your children is a completely new thrill.
Seeing your newborn pulling off the same eyebrow smirk as their older siblings did is magical. (Naturally, you can observe this with two kids or even if your children have cousins.)
Now I’d genuinely like to hear, what surprised you after having your first or second or third (or perhaps fourth?) child? Feel free to share below, I’m eager to listen! Sending love to those wishing for or trying to have a baby. xo
P.S. Three words that reshaped my parenting approach, one surprise Joanna had in parenting, and what’s the best sibling age gap?
