This week, I’ve been diving into an advanced copy of Awake, a forthcoming memoir by Jen Hatmaker (September 23rd) that recounts the moment she wakes one night to overhear her husband on the phone, murmuring sweet nothings to another person. That’s just the first page. The remainder of the book explores the ensuing events, and it’s quite the journey.
But the portion I want to highlight today is this: during therapy, Jen is worrying about her kids, when her therapist proposes, “Why don’t you devote some energy to nurturing yourself?” When Jen feels puzzled — after all, she’s always crossing items off her to-do list — her therapist inquires, “Jen, what would a good mother do in this situation?”
In an instant, the answer becomes evident: “Tell me to drink more water and stop Facebook stalking,” she replies.
Over the following weeks, Jen embraces this concept of self-care, “not as a teacher setting benchmarks, not as a preacher dictating actions, not as a coach energizing the play call…but as a mother caring for her cherished little one’s heart, body, and feelings as if they are more significant than the workload.”
How lovely is that?
In challenging times, how do you nurture yourself? Do you go to bed early? Watch a comforting movie? Reach out to those you love? Sometimes, if I lie in bed dwelling on something I regret — like a work task or my interactions with my kids — I tell myself this simple phrase: “I’m learning.” For me, it’s refreshing to recognize that I don’t do everything flawlessly, I make mistakes, and that’s perfectly fine! We are all works in progress; the most we can aspire to is to keep evolving and learning. And, perhaps, to drink more water.
P.S. The most valuable parenting advice I ever received, and the Grand Canyon technique for those who worry.
(Photo of Joanna and Anton, 2013)
**Methods to Support and Care for Yourself**
In our fast-moving world, dedicating time to support and care for oneself is crucial for sustaining physical, mental, and emotional health. Self-care is not a luxury but a vital need that can foster a more balanced and rewarding life. Here are a number of methods to support and care for yourself:
1. **Make Sleep a Priority**: Quality sleep is essential for overall well-being. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night to allow your body and mind to rest and restore. Establish a nighttime routine, minimize screen time before sleep, and create a comfortable sleeping space.
2. **Eat Well**: Nourish your body with a balanced diet abundant in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Stay hydrated and reduce intake of processed foods, sugar, and caffeine. Mindful eating can enhance digestion and enrich your relationship with food.
3. **Stay Active**: Engaging in physical activity lifts mood, alleviates stress, and boosts physical health. Strive for a minimum of 150 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise weekly. Discover activities you enjoy, like walking, dancing, or yoga, to make exercise a consistent aspect of your life.
4. **Utilize Mindfulness and Meditation**: Mindfulness and meditation can lessen stress, boost self-awareness, and enhance emotional health. Dedicate time each day to meditate or practice mindfulness exercises, like deep breathing or body scans.
5. **Cultivate Social Bonds**: Establishing and maintaining robust relationships with family and friends provides emotional support and fosters feelings of connection. Set aside time for social engagements, whether in person or online, to reinforce these connections.
6. **Establish Boundaries**: Learn to decline requests and set boundaries to safeguard your time and energy. Prioritize tasks and commitments that resonate with your values and aspirations, and delegate or refuse those that do not.
7. **Engage in Interests**: Following hobbies and passions can provide satisfaction and joy. Whether it’s painting, gardening, or playing music, partaking in activities you love can be an excellent way to unwind and recharge.
8. **Embrace Gratitude**: Nourishing gratitude can enhance mental health and boost happiness. Maintain a gratitude journal, send thank-you notes, or simply take a moment each day to think of things you are thankful for.
9. **Seek Professional Guidance**: If you are facing mental health challenges, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. Professional assistance can offer valuable tools and techniques for coping with stress, anxiety, and other obstacles.
10. **Disconnect from Devices**: Regularly unplug from screens and electronic devices to minimize stress and improve concentration. Set tech-free periods or areas in your home to encourage more face-to-face interactions and relaxation.
11. **Exercise Self-Compassion**: Treat yourself with kindness and patience, especially during tough times. Recognize your flaws and errors without judgment, and focus on self-improvement instead of self-reproach.
By integrating these self-care strategies into your everyday routine, you can support and nurture yourself, leading to a healthier, more balanced life. Remember, self-care is a personal journey, and it’s vital to discover what works best for you.
