I’m a terrible sleeper and have often longed for an adult sleep-training regimen. I would absolutely endure crying it out for a week if you said I’d be able to regularly, consistently sleep after it. But as I’m now in a grown-up bed, I’m left with magnesium powder, amber lightbulbs, breathing techniques, and every other maybe-science-maybe-nonsense sleep trick. I’ve attempted every suggestion I’ve encountered — whether from legitimate doctors or the side-columns of magazines at the nail salon. Triangle breathing? Sure! Cognitive shuffling? Count me in.
Finally, however, I discovered a method for falling asleep that boasts an almost perfect success rate. It took years for me to identify it as such, because, frankly, no one ever suggested it to me as a sleep strategy. It’s simply something I have to do one daily: mentally select my clothes. That’s all. That’s the secret. I close my eyes, consider the weather forecast for the next day, then picture my closet and assemble an outfit. I rarely progress beyond the first couple of clothing items. I’m out within minutes, every time.
And to be clear: I don’t work in an office, and my typical weekday social interactions include hurried, chaotic conversations at school pickup, while juggling whatever still-wet masterpiece my six-year-old has thrust upon me before darting down the sidewalk. I’m not in a dazzling stage of life, and my attire reflects that. The outfits I’m piecing together in my mind at night are essentially just jeans or leggings, plus something on top. But as everyone knows, even the simplest ensembles require some consideration: If I wear that white tee, I need that light-beige bra — not the scratchy one, the comfortable one. Is it clean? Yeah, clean enough. Oh, and a sweatshirt for my co-working space, because it’s summer now, so the A.C. is ramped up and — and I’m out. Boom.
My hypothesis is that it works because, 1. Unlike other strategies for nodding off, this one isn’t about trying to fall asleep (trying to fall asleep, as everyone knows, only complicates the process). And although I am now aware it does put me to sleep, that’s never the objective. Deciding what to wear is just an activity I have to complete — I’m not misleading myself by imagining I’m on a boat or something (guided meditation — that’s another one I’ve attempted). And 2. It requires just the appropriate level of mental involvement: I have to think, but not excessively. Not intensely enough to create stress. It’s enough to distract my mind from worrying about when/if/how I’ll fall asleep.
Does science support my hypothesis? No. Will this method work for everyone? Probably not — especially if you have a capsule wardrobe, or all your bras are “good.” But if, like me, you’re weary of being lectured about sleep hygiene and ambient room temperature, and just want to fall asleep already — may I suggest simply closing your eyes and selecting your clothes? Worst case scenario, you’ll remain awake, but at least you’ll know what you’re wearing tomorrow.
Do you have any peculiar-but-effective tricks for falling asleep? Or how about falling back to sleep?
P.S. Anton’s bedtime routine, and a nighttime anxiety strategy.
