A favorite aspect of mine is when Cup of Jo readers offer pep talks in the comments. For instance, a reader notes she’s pregnant with her first child; another updates on the dahlias blooming in her garden — and everyone chimes in with encouragement. Today, we’re presenting eight comments on life changes, large and small…
On a transformative haircut:
“I was trapped in the wrong job, feeling depressed and anxious. When I finally mustered the courage to resign, I felt instant relief — but was in a limbo. I headed to a hairdresser who got it, and in an hour, my bland hair was turned into an exquisite bob. I walked out fortified. The haircut was a signal to myself, and those around me, that change was on its way, and it was positive.” — Annie
On expecting a baby:
“At 39, I embarked on becoming ‘a single mom by choice.’ I’d always wanted kids, the partner aspect hadn’t worked out, and I was set. I went through seven rounds of IUI with donor sperm — all unsuccessful. I switched jobs for the IVF coverage and began my first cycle when I met someone. He was very supportive, and we dated for a year while I underwent three more cycles with donor sperm. All failed, and with insurance covering just ONE more attempt, we decided to use his sperm. We’re expecting our daughter in December.” — Erin G.
On building strength:
“At 45, I felt completely drained by life and family matters. I felt weak in every sense, so one day I started doing push-ups. On the first day, I could do two. Every few days, I aimed to add one more. They were TOUGH, but I persevered. I’d spread them out through my day (you can do push-ups practically anywhere!), and anytime I felt anxious, I’d drop and perform a few. It helped! Greatly! A year later, I was doing 100 daily. It was remarkable. Push-ups have become as integrated into my life as having breakfast and brushing my teeth. I’m so proud of myself.” — Sasha L.
On an empty-nest:
“I always worried about an empty nest. But now with our kids in college, my husband and I relish our time together. Instead of post-school activities and chores, we enjoy date nights nearly every night! We watch sunsets, solve the Wordle, explore new eateries. My daughter recently laughed, ‘You guys are so adorable now.’ When the kids are home for breaks, it’s heartening and busier once more — and when it’s time to return to school, everyone’s prepared! Enjoy your time with your kids, but know there are exciting new chapters approaching, too.” — Jeanne
On solo pleasures:
“Post a major breakup, I listened to the podcast Just Break Up, which was therapeutic. I felt less isolated, realizing how many others have been heartbroken and emerged stronger. Now, I’m happily single. I delight in being able to do exactly what I want, when I want. No one leaves toast crumbs in the butter or drips jam on the counters. I don’t have to compromise with anyone other than myself. It’s bliss. If I meet someone I want to bring into my life, well, lucky them.” — R.S.
On discovering new interests:
“I recently began playing in a weekly pickup basketball game with a group of women at my local rec center. Some previously played on college teams and are quite skilled. I am not among those women. I’m not good at all. But everyone’s so kind: Rules are clarified, fouls overlooked, baskets I actually make are cheered. There’s something so wonderful about running around for an hour, playing a game with a group of cool people. I get sweaty and tired like a child; I’ve sprained my finger and pulled every muscle, but I smile the entire time.” — Seraphim
On embracing gray hairs:
“I’m 53, and I’ve spent the past year growing out my grays. I opted to stop dyeing them when I sensed it wasn’t sustainable, financially or time-wise. I was nervous about looking older to my daughter, husband, students, and myself. But it’s been such a liberation that I want to shout it from the rooftops! The other week, my husband paused to say, ‘You make those grays look good.’” — Anon
On opening new possibilities:
“When my husband came out as gay, it felt like an avalanche. Now I view it as the essential demolition of a good life, in search of a great one. The background noise in my head, which I’d tried to ignore for so long, finally quieted. I fell in love with an extraordinary woman. It’s a love that doesn’t necessitate me to change. It’s broad, effortless, humbling, and more authentic than anything I’ve ever known. Navigating all this was overwhelming, but not impossible. I share this for anyone needing to know it’s not too late. You’re not too old. I had a good life where I believed my choices were final. But in reality, you can still choose. You can walk through a door you thought was shut to you and find something beautiful on the other side.” — Hannah
How has your life shifted recently, significantly or subtly? We’re eager to hear.
P.S. Cup of Jo readers share their cherished photos, and three women on changing their careers (gift link).
(Photo by Evgenij Yulkin/Stocksy.)
